Failure blast 010

If someone does not like you! You're usually some sort of threat to them. It's not easy to hate, it seems easy but it's such a waste of energy.

I definitely hate, I hate in traffic, in any line up anywhere! it's bad and my son sees it! it's not racist hate but there is some stereotypical things that i do that I need to stop. It's funny because I don't think I would have noticed this about myself if I wasn't writing about it at the moment.
 Exposing yourself on anything does not hurt! it helps, for now, I guess there could be consequences of blogging that I cant foresee yet.

they'll be positive. Life's good. Is that because I'm bi polar? Probably not, I'm flourishing and so are many around me.

If there is anybody dragging me down it's me,

I need a script for a blog, a video Blog.

My new years Goals,

It's important to note that these are not resolutions, these are the goals I've set for myself.

I'm going to Planche! It's possible... I've see the progression and I'll put myself in the position to be able to do that move. Gymnastics are awesome.

I'm going to further my Education, both my psychology and my knowledge base for graphic design and video manipulation.

I'd like to travel abroad more then once and at least once I'd like to be related to a job.

I'm going to learn to fly a drone and create aerial photographs and video.

My progress is going to encourage other to follow their own dream, starting with making videos about what they see themselves achieving in 2016

gas farts

Letting go just does not seem to fit in my vocabulary! But I think I can get over shit! Baggage in my favorite thing to lug around. I dig up my past on the daily to talk about the shit that made me the way I am! Which is slow and retarded!

My son says retard is no longer a word? I act like one all the time.

I am settling into figuring out what it is exactly that I want to do with my life and I seem to be on the right path.

blog plow job

Procrastinating and totally blowing things off and then coming up with an excuse as to why i didn't need to do that is deff one of my flaws!
I still don't have a clue about who I want to be when i grow up. And Im still interested in procreating with every women in the world. Which I've just realized over the last couple of years is actually not going to be possible even if I did get the chance.

I've always managed to keep building relationships with people. Not just the same old people but with new ones over and over again,

Don't want to blow this off tho

stab yourself in the face

Wanna know something gross about me?

I know more about what others want for themselves then I know about what I want for me.

It's a flaw and it has to do with what I've been figuring out over the last couple of years. Who are you?  I know it's such a tough fucking question.
Looking back I think my first dreams involved having a loving family. I think I want to be a part of a loving family. I got that. I'm a loving father.
It's hard not to look back and say that I didn't have a good father or any good loving siblings, but I guess you can't.

What do I want beyond the family.

Love, lust passion...

So how do I turn my weakness into a strength?

I do what others want to please them. I'd like to do what I want to please me.

Becoming me will mean I have to do what I want. I want to be perfect. Or get as close as I can to perfection.
I want to focus on my body but that immediately gets me thinking that I'm doing it to get attention from others. 

this is a grossly huge and emotional topic. I'm sure I'll be back to enjoy more of this shit soon.